“If someone is totally secure in the perfect love of an Almighty God, they become fearless.”
– Francis Chan
“Whoever confesses that Jesus is the Son of God, God abides in him, and he in God. So we have come to know and to believe the love that God has for us. God is love, and whoever abides in love abides in God, and God abides in him. By this is love perfected with us, so that we may have confidence for the day of judgment, because as he is so, also are we in this world.”
1 John 4:15-17
In his book Beloved, Francis Chan writes the following:
“Growing up, I had virtually no relationship with my dad. My mom died giving birth to me so my dad tried to give me up for adoption. My aunt intervened and I was sent to Hong Kong to live with my grandmother until she could no longer care for me. When I was five, my dad was forced to take me back. He didn’t want me, and he never spoke to me except to criticize or punish me.”
Francis shares his current struggles with doubt and fear in the book, many which were rooted in the void and pain caused by his relationship with his father. He writes:
“Believing in Jesus’ love is not a one-time acknowledgement. It is a sustained connection. I have Christian friends who were once alcoholics or drug addicts. Some of them were completely delivered from both the sin and the temptation when they became believers. Others battle their temptations daily by the power of the Holy Spirit. God’s grace doesn’t always manifest the same, but it is always sufficient.
This seems to be the way it works with doubt. I have met people who are completely secure in God’s love. They were delivered from insecurity at salvation and have never doubted His love for them. Others, like me, have to remind themselves daily of His promises. The enemy keeps shooting arrows of doubt at us. We have to constantly run for shelter. We are protected so long as we are abiding in His house.”
It was refreshing to see a big Christian name open up with his struggles of living in God’s love. I’m in the same camp as Chan, having grown up in a Christian home where there was physical abuse (that included getting a beating if I didn’t eat a meal right), being sexually molested as a teen, and no spoken words of affection that I can remember. Those repeated blows to the soul cause significant damage to the heart.
20 years ago I was sitting in a counselor’s office with my wife. We were talking about why I struggled so much with self-loathing and accepting love. At one point the counselor turned to my wife and asked, “Why do you think Mike struggles with receiving love so much?” My wife stunned me by replying immediately, “Because he doesn’t believe he deserves it.” She nailed what I had been oblivious to. (Our spouses often see what’s going on in our hearts long before we have a clue).
Since that time God has done a lot of healing in my heart. Yet, like Chan, I need to work to stay rooted and ground in who I am and what I’ve been given as God’s son every day. The enemy throws his darts at opportune times which forces me to stay strong in prayer and the truth.
Many mornings I’ll pray something like this:
“Lord, thank you that I am your son. Thank you for grafting me into the family of God. Thank you for the inheritance that is waiting for me in Heaven. I love you. I receive all of your love. Please remove any barriers or walls that might be in my heart that might be blocking me from receiving all that You’ve given me. I receive all of your spiritual blessings.” (See Ephesians 1).
As my wife pointed out, I struggled, big time, with a strong sense of unworthiness that was a block to receiving love. Those who have been abused will often grow up with a crippling sense of shame. Unworthiness is a snake that coils around the heart in an attempt to choke out love. Our failures and sin give the snake more poison to torment us with. Even today (as recent as yesterday) unworthiness can still bubble up in my heart. None of us deserve salvation, but that’s only a small part of the story. Jesus died to give us abundant life, and we are told repeatedly in the Bible to “Be strong and courageous.” We’re not going to be spiritual warriors and fighters if we’re walking around cripped from shame and unworthiness.
We can pray as follows to make the exchange:
“Lord, thank you for dying for all of my sins on the cross. Thank you that I am your son/daughter. I exchange all of my unworthiness and past mistakes for all of the spiritual blessings You have given me and are continuing to give me. I refuse to hold onto unworthiness and shame; I release it all to the cross. I embrace and receive all that You’re giving me. Please fill my heart with your life, light, joy, and peace. Please strengthen me in the truth of who I am in Your eyes.”
“Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be frightened, and do not be dismayed, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go.”
Joshua 1:9
In the past I’ve had to deal with a lot of fear and anger. I pushed love away from everyone for years, including God. I was angry at the belief that I couldn’t receive love, yet was terrified that someone might touch my heart. Add those together and you get hopelessness. Resentment, bitterness, judging, and anger were constant problems. If someone tried to show me love or appreciation it would mess up my head. I’ve done a lot of work evicting fear and anger but still have to remain vigilant.
Today I will often pray like this:
“In Jesus’ name I renounce all fear, anger, resentment, hatred, and bitterness, and any way I have agreed with them at any time. I renounce every way I have rejected love or pushed it away, at any time. I renounce rejection. Lord, if there are any of these things still in my heart, please cleanse, wash, and heal me in those areas. I receive all of your love and blessings. Thank you, God, that I am your son. I forgive all those who have hurt me.”
Although I’ve forgiven them long ago, I find that it’s still a benefit to pray forgiveness over them occasionally to keep my heart free from resentment.
Spiritual warfare is a constant throughout the believer’s life. The enemy comes back repeatedly to try to ensnare us in fear, anger, shame, unworthiness, rejection, resentment, or hopelessness. To live free demands a strong prayer life, knowing who we are in Christ, a working knowledge of God’s word and spiritual warfare, and perseverance. We must fight for what we’ve been given, every day.
“Many are oblivious to the spiritual battle that rages on around us… For much of my life I didn’t think or talk much about the demonic realm because I didn’t want to be one of “those people” who see demons in everything. But the Bible is very clear that evil forces exist, and that their goal is to steal, kill, and destroy.”
– Francis Chan
Secular Christians won’t get this or even want to hear it; as a result they’ll live defeated lives short of the abundant life God offers. Just this past week as I was driving I saw a car with a sign on it advertising tarot reading and occult products. The enemy is right in our face and most Christians give him little reason to fear them. When the battle is on you must stand up, fight, and hold on to what God has given you.
“Fight the good fight of the faith. Take hold of the eternal life to which you were called and about which you made the good confession in the presence of many witnesses.”
1 Timothy 6:12
Prayer is your most powerful weapon. Watch the thoughts that creep into your mind and the emotions that surface in your heart. If something is off, deal with it immediately.
There are times when we all need “Jesus with skin on” – one of His people – to help us navigate the minefields of life. Reply to this email if you want help.
“There is no fear in love, but perfect love casts out fear. For fear has to do with punishment, and whoever fears has not been perfected in love.”
1 John 4:18
